Explore the Mystery

Find some magic!

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The word uncertainty has been popping up a lot lately, both in personal conversations, and in what I hear and read in the media.  Its given as the reason for not committing to something, postponing a decision or a trip, for financial market instability, for airline schedule changes, for feeling stress… for just about everything.  Not knowing can certainly be uncomfortable when you have a decision to make or an action to take.  But, if you are really honest with yourself, is there ever a time you are certain about anything?

We love to believe we know things.  The reality is most of us would not bet our life savings on our ability to predict the future under any circumstances.  So what is different now that is heightening our awareness of our lack of certainty?  The dismantling of many of our long standing systems and rules of engagement has certainly been destabilizing.  Those who are driving the actions have faith that the short term unraveling will be worth the long term benefits. Those that have lost their careers and funding as a result are skeptical.  Who is right?  It’s a matter of perspective and time.

Words like instability and uncertainty can invoke fear and influence us to act in risk averse ways. But what if we used different words?  What if we said the future is a mystery, instead of the future is uncertain. Its semantics, and it matters.  One of my wise teachers, Elly Molina, taught me how important our choice of words can be, not just in communicating with others but also in our self talk.  She began some of her sessions with a list of words to banish from our vocabulary (should was at the top of the list, could is a more empowering option). Her intention is to enable us to reclaim our own power in interpreting circumstances and navigating them to beneficial outcomes. Psycholinguistics is the study of how language influences our cognition.  When you begin to listen to words with this lens it is liberating and it opens up a world of possibilities. This is not the same as sugar coating.  It is not about pretending things are coming up roses when all you have in front of you is the fertilizer.  This is simply about considering different word choices when we frame situations we are facing.

That is why I am using words like mystery and intrigue lately.  Those words to me imply more exciting potential outcomes and give me reason to choose fun options instead of fearful ones.  A few weeks ago I was feeling a bit uncomfortable about the future, and it led me to think about all the cool things I want to experience.  One of them was the New Orleans Jazz Festival.  My paternal roots are in New Orleans, and I've been many times, but never to Jazz Fest.  And I found myself thinking… oh well, I guess I'll have to do that another time because I shou…..  And I caught myself.  And I swapped my words and thought, I certainly could go this year. What is stopping me.  The answer?  The stories in my head.  So, with ten days notice we booked our trip.  Plenty tickets, plenty of hotel rooms, plenty of flight availability and my time is my own.  It was awesome.  I actually think that how proud I am of myself for going has been just as enjoyable as the trip itself.  The music was amazing, the kind that brings tears to your eyes.  The food was phenomenal, the people so fun, and the art inspiring.  We had the chance to visit with cousins I haven't seen in a decade.  There isn't anything I regret about making that decision, and I will do it again.  It is especially apropos that the photo above was taken at JazzFest.  A little NOLA magic right in plain sight.

Someone once said to me that whether a story has a happy or sad ending depends entirely on where you end the story.  I will add, it also depends on the perspective of the storyteller.  What ends well for some may not be viewed as desirable for others.  And the mysteries will continue to evolve.  Over the course of my lifetime I have already had many happy and sad stories.  Is my life story happy or sad?  Neither, and both, and I will continue to make the most of it as long as I can.