I've been thinking a lot about boundaries lately, maybe it's all the colorful maps that are in the news. It is interesting how much energy goes into defining and defending boundaries and the rules and judgements that are based upon them. The Oxford dictionary defines a boundary as "a line that marks the limits of an area." Which implies a physical limit, but of course a boundary can be physical or conceptual.
Limits can have physical or legal implications, but often they only exist in our collective or individual minds. The hours and days of analysis of opinions and votes that goes on during election season is fascinating if you consider that these governmental boundaries are all man-made and do not exist when viewed from an airplane window. You don't look down and see areas of red and blue or lines denoting where a law in one area disappears in another.
When the Pilgrims arrived 400 years ago I wonder if any of them imagined that the boundaries of their settlements would expand 3,000 miles west and evolve into the country we have today. How bold were those early explorers. To them there were no boundaries, at least none that they chose to acknowledge as obstacles. Of course we see now how one culture's boundless desire to expand can decimate other cultures as the Colonialists set out to conquer new lands without regard for the Native Americans, or when humans take so much from the earth that ecosystems of once abundant plant and animal life become extinct. So being boundless without care and respect for life can be quite destructive.
We have collectively created boundaries to help us manage and navigate our world, but we also can let it get in our way of experiencing the true freedom of living. Governance is necessary for a certain quality of life, but the layers of limits we create in the name of governance do not unite us or help us feel the sense of human connection that to me is the joy of living. Municipal boundaries define what our tax rates are, HOA boundaries define what color we can paint our house, State boundaries define what rights we have for healthcare access and who represents our interests. Selecting where we live isn't just about the house and the view, it has so many other implications for limits that affect us.
As communities and individuals we establish physical and mental boundaries to make us feel safe by trying to control our external environment. If we don't like the limits we can leave, or work to change them, like the Pilgrims did, and its not easy. The more we try to control things around us the more stress we bring into our lives. What would life be like if there were no boundaries? Could we be limitless? What could that feel like?
What if we recognize that the boundaries we live by are in our minds? I am a big fan of Michael Singer's work. He wrote the books Untethered Soul, The Surrender Experiment and most recently, Living Untethered. He so clearly and matter-of-factly helps us see that what binds us is actually ourselves.
If you consider this moment in time, what are the boundaries you are holding on to out of safety? What boundaries do you consider when you meet someone for the first time? Is it politics, religion, gender, education, nationality, food preferences? What if you erased the lines that define those areas in your mind? We all also set boundaries for ourselves personally… maybe its age, weight, flexibility, stamina - and these often limit our opinion of ourselves especially as we compare them to earlier times in our lives. What do you think you can and cannot do because of those boundaries? How have we tied our identities to these boundaries?
I think most of us see ourselves as good people. So if you are in a room with a bunch of strangers you can feel safe in knowing everyone has defined themselves as a good person. If we are to set a boundary around all the good human people in the world it would be the size and shape of Earth (plus those brave astronauts that are out in space). We can go anywhere and do anything with respect and compassion for these other people because the boundaries that separate us are not real, they are only in our minds. What if we all believed that as we navigated our days? Sure we may see differences, but biologically we are 99.9% identical in our DNA.
Let's be boundless as we navigate our lives and relationships. If we erase the lines we draw for ourselves and for others, what we have left is a series of moments with boundless potential. Potential for connection, joy, love and peace. It might sound idealistic, but our peace of mind is within our control alone. We cannot achieve peace of mind from anything outside of ourselves.
If you want to learn more about what it will take to be boundless I strongly recommend picking up one of Michael Singer's books or listening to his podcast. Anyone interested in joining me in a discussion group on this topic is welcome to email me and I will explore what it will take to help us all find boundless peace.
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